“And this is my solemn pledge: I will work to build a single nation of justice and opportunity.”
— George W. Bush, Inaugural Address, January 20, 2001

August 5, 2005

When George Bush promised to create opportunity for all, I had no idea what doors he would open for me.

Right on the heels of last week’s revelation that you need only two years’ experience as a judge to qualify for the Supreme Court comes the news that William Timken Jr., our new ambassador to Germany — who raised $200,000 for the President’s reelection campaign and $250,000 for the Inauguration festivities — has no diplomatic experience and does not speak German. Hey, that’s me too!

Our new ambassador to Portugal, Al Hoffman, is a developer who raised $300,000 for Bush’s presidential campaigns. The new face of America in the United Kingdom is Robert Tuttle, a car dealer who raised more than $100,000. Also raising more than $100,000 was Ronald Spogli, a financier who was Bush’s classmate at Harvard Business School. Now Ron is the top diplomat in Rome. Wow!

And here’s the man who really gives me hope: David Wilkins, a South Carolina state representative who raised $200,000 for the 2004 campaign, is our new ambassador to Canada. Wilkins only visited Canada once, more than 30 years ago on a trip to Niagara Falls, and he doesn’t speak French. Needless to say, I don’t speak French either.

In fact, with only a stumbling acquaintance of Spanish and Serbo-Croatian — and no experience at all in diplomacy — I should be a shoo-in in the next round. Watch for postcards!

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Thanks to Richard Wolffe and Holly Bailey at Newsweek, July 27, 2005