July 4, 2005

One hot day when I was a freshman at Syracuse University, John Fennessey, a resident advisor in Marion Hall, put his arm around my shoulders and said, “Kihm, I have some advice for you that you can use all your life… Don’t wear shorts.”

From an aesthetic point of view, John was probably right, but for comfort’s sake I have ignored his offering, and it’s a good thing, because just the other day I broke a heat wave by the simple act of ordering new shorts. Just as washing a car or scheduling an outdoor party can bring rain, so augmenting one’s wardrobe for hot weather can summon a cold front.

Because mine is a life of adventure, I purchased my shorts online at Cabela’s. At this moment I am wearing a pair made by Columbia Sportswear. In the pocket was a tag that read, “Why canvas? Because steel pants rust.” Another tag assured me that these will be “ready to roll at a moment’s notice.” Six pockets, four with tenacious Velcro closures, stand ready to hold provisions. A second pair was crafted by Moose Creek, makers of Legendary Clothing with Rugged Strength for the Great Outdoors, Engineered and Built to Protect You from Mother Nature. With my loins thusly girded, I am prepared for anything. See me facing the wind, moving from the sofa to the DVD shelves, exuding confidence.